A Perpetrator Released

I was six years old when my uncle moved in.

Approximately seven years old when he began sexually abusing me (children cannot consent).

Eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen and fourteen years old when the abuse continued and other types of abuse (physical, verbal, emotional) were added to the mix.

I was sixteen the first time I told anyone that I had been abused (though, I used the word molested because I thought it was less bad).

I was twenty two when I entered recovery. And when I learned the TX statute of limitations had ended. And when I testified against my uncle. And when I filed my own charges against him.

I was twenty-three when I met with multiple investigators and attorneys.

I was twenty-four when he pled guilty.

I was thirty-two when he was released from prison.

It feels scary.

I have shifted through emotions of sorrow for my younger self, anger over the justice system, fear over the threats I still recall, but also joy.

I am saved. I have faith in a good and perfect God who not only delivered me from the evil hands of my abuser (Psalm 118:13) but also strengthened me in the face of battle (Psalm 23:3). I have hope in His perfect promises that those that turn to Him, repent and fully confess will be made new (Ephesians 4:22-24).

I have prayed for my perpetrators salvation. I have prayed for my confidence in the Lord to not be shaken. I have rejoiced for the words He has given me to prepare my children. I am thankful for the ways in which He has used my story.

An offender going to prison is not the end of recovery. There is much more. You will not have peace simply knowing he/she is behind bars and justice is being served, because what happens when he/she completes that sentence? Is it fair? Is it right? Are you safe? If your peace is only dependent on whether or not your perpetrator is experiencing the consequences of his/her crime then your peace will be fleeting.

True, supernatural peace exists only when you continue to work through the lies, the trauma, and the coping patterns and cling onto Christ first and foremost.

Following Jesus and trusting Him with your healing will not restore you perfectly. You will still struggle. You will still fall down. You will still turn back to sin. But, you will have peace in His perfection. You will be lifted high when you run from your sin. You will find struggles and storms are bearable because you have shelter in His arms.

There is only perfect justice in Heaven. The only perfect Judge is God. On earth, we will mourn and we will agonize over the incompetence of today’s justice system. On earth, we will find corruption even in this system appointed to uphold laws. This is why we don’t give our life to the world. This is why we do not place our faith in mere man.

We look to Jesus. We wait for Jesus.