Unpopular Opinion Pt. 2

Here, I go again…

I’m likely going to get quite a lot of grief about this one. I got quite a lot of grief about the last one and that was nothing compared to this.

However, can I preface all of this for a second?
First, if you are not a Christ-follower I do not expect you to conduct your life in the same way that those of us who are “Christians” are commanded to. You are loved and appreciated but this will likely not be your cup of tea.
Secondly, if you are a follower of Jesus and do not believe the Bible calls you to the things I am about to talk about then we can agree to disagree. And that’s ok.

You might believe we have to agree to be respectful to one another, this is not the case. We don't have to agree for me to respect you. We don't have to agree as a means to show kindness to one another. You do not have to agree with my 'opinions.' Everything I say comes out of a deep respect for humanity, a respect for our children, the next generation.

Unpopular Opinion #2: Sexuality education can be abusive to children.

First, notice I said the word ‘can’. You can google what ‘sexuality education’ is if you are not privy to this verbiage. But let’s start off with some definitions.

Sexual Abuse: Any sexual activity (visual, verbal or physical) engaged in without consent to meet another persons desires.
Consent: a resounding permission or agreement to do something.
Reasons a person cannot consent: Intoxication, being manipulated, coerced or threatened, mental disabilities or disorders, being overpowered by strength or authority, and/or a person’s age.

A child cannot reasonably consent.

If I asked one of my boys if they would like ice cream for every single meal the answer would be an emphatic, “YES!” If you ask a child if she wants to go to a parade where everyone will be dressed up in costumes, there will be music and dancing and glitter, she will most likely say yes. This does not mean she knows what she's consenting to.

However, this unnecessary need to bring overly sexualized information into schools is providing a level of desensitization that prompts children to view these adult choices and actions as ‘normal’.

Proverbs 22:6 says we should be training a child in the way they should go, so that when they grow older they will not depart from it.

What a child is exposed to, learns, or consistently hears in his/her formative years absolutely effects life. Despite the route she may take, there is trauma to heal from, boundaries to practice, and faith to search for.

I was sexually abused within my home. I knew entirely too much about sex, I saw too much about sex at too terribly young of an age. I even believed, for a long time, I was a willing participant. I believed this because I was manipulated and then bribed with treats and prizes. I was built up, cared for and treated kindly prior to my abuse. This is called grooming.

I was groomed to believe this person was good. I was groomed to believe pornographic  images were normal and the physical abuse was just another aspect of the relationship. I was a child. I could not have cognitively consented. But, that was my life. It wasn’t something I was supposed to talk about but it was clearly what I was supposed to do in order to be loved.

Having a sexualized education would not have helped me to understand that what was happening at home was wrong, but would have created the falsehood that everything I was enduring at home was ‘normal.’ And this is going to happen for hundreds of thousands of sexually abused children everywhere - you can expect it. The statistics for children reporting abuse is incredibly low. I think it’s prudent to teach a child about inappropriate touch, I do not believe this type of education is all it’s cracked up to be. And I also believe the stats for reporting will decrease tremendously now that children are utterly confused and desensitized.

I’ve heard the reasons for wanting to apply “sexualized education” to our school systems. And while on the surface it sounds like it’s an effort to proactively protect children or normalize a minority group as a way to be inclusive, the reality is, this is an attempt to have less free-thinkers. It is highly manipulative for a teacher of a group of seven year olds to convince her students that those students do indeed want to be their opposite gender based solely on the fact that a boy likes the color pink or a girl enjoys playing football. Manipulation is precursor to abuse.

Children seeing and hearing about different ways in which they can be penetrated is abusive. It’s unnecessary and promotes confusion. The reason children are confused is not because they have some innate desire to love their same-sex or become the opposite sex or identify as a completely different entity altogether. The reason children are confused is because everyone else is confused.

Children need level-headed adults to help them navigate their imaginations, their fears, their hormones, their lack of emotional and bodily regulation. They need a path.

Altering a child’s body and/or mind to fit an ideal of what you want them to be is harmful. Exposing a child to men in thongs, topless women and a lengthy discussion of oral sex is abusive. It feels kind of ridiculous that I even have to say those words. It also feels ridiculous that I also will have to explain how teaching children Biblical values is not corruption, abusive or manipulative. When you are simply guiding a child about who they were designed to be, providing opportunities for them to critically evaluate, and exposing them to Truth you are only spurring them on to be decisive, informative, well-rounded human beings who will grow to make their own assessments about life.

When you train up a child in the way they should go, my friends, they will go.