Sexual Abuse Has Affected Me
Sexual abuse does not define me (or you). And having been sexually abused doesn’t mean I won’t or haven’t experienced healing.
However, all that to say, sexual abuse has affected me (& it affects everyone it touches).
Any type of trauma in our lives affects us in some way or another. What we do with the effects of our trauma is up to us but determines so much of how go through our lives.
If you’ve been sexually abused, that was NOT you fault. What you wore, how much you drank, where you were, who you were with, none of that puts you at fault for having been abused.
I believed it was my fault, even though I was a child. And while as a child my coping patterns were a source of protection for me, those same coping patterns only served to destroy as I grew into adulthood. My choices were often to be violent or destructive behind closed doors. On the outside, my choices were to please everyone and anyone no matter what I had to say or do.
Beginning the process of recovery meant having to go back through all the damage done to me and to dig up all the damage I’d done to others and myself. I felt unsure I would ever be on the other side of my dark hole. I honestly didn’t believe or trust that God could heal me. And if this is your story, I want to tell you: There is hope.
You were given a purpose. The God of the Bible, Creator of the Universe, also created you! Let me break it down, in the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth. He made light. He put fish in the sea and birds in the sky. He created everything with a purpose in mind. So, don’t think for one moment the creation of your life wasn’t skillfully planned.
God used the part of my story, my sexual abuse and the aftermath that I wanted to delete from my history. God took my broken parts and mended them back together. God is in the business of forgiveness and reconciliation. He can redeem and restore. All hope was not lost. My life was not pointless or worthless.
But my trauma stopped reigning over my life when I gave it all to God. I gave Him the outcome of my healing journey. I trusted His word, which gave me peace and security that allowed me to share my story with safe people. And once I shared again and again the shame and regret fell by the wayside. I brought my trauma out of darkness and into light John 1:5 which allowed others to feel hopeful for their own recovery.
God has a purpose for your life, too. It may not be to share about your sexual abuse on a grand scale. It may not have anything to do with your sexual abuse but I am sure He will use that part of your past in ways you would never have imagined. You need not live in regret but instead open a window and let the light in.
Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash
