God May Not Heal You at All
In my last post, about the new year, I wrote “In 2018 I choose joy.” I had no idea it would be such a difficult feat only four days in!
It just goes to show you that the enemy is playing hard in our day to day lives to keep us from following, trusting, or believing God.
Stand back, Satan!
Here is a hard truth to hear for many of my Christian friends; God may not heal you today. God may not heal you tomorrow. God may not heal you at all. When we say “Let His will be done,” what we actually mean in our egotistical mind is; “Let His will be done as long as it coincides with my desires.”
Truth is, God is in the business of changing hearts. Every day. God is faithful in prospering you by whatever means HE sees fit & in the timing He deems necessary. Your cure does not come just because you’re faithful to the Lord, following commandments, going to church, seeking his word and guidance daily, praying, shepherding others, etc. Faith is about staying committed in the unknown. We are not meant to understand God’s ways or His timing but only meant to trust his promises. His faithfulness and your faith in Him does not and should not depend on the worldly standard of “healing” or “cures.”
My depression has not been cured. Do I struggle with it less now that I walk with Christ? Absolutely. I am well aware that God has made a tremendous difference in depression, nightmares, and anxiety. But, His goal for my life may not be for me to be completely rid of those hang-ups but instead to thrive in spite of them.
Two men of the Bible come mind when I think of having hope in the Lord regardless of situations or circumstances: Job and Habakkuk.
Job had his fair share of hits from Satan. All his children were lost when the house collapsed on top of them (7sons, 3 daughters), all his livestock & livelihood was lost by attackers and fires. He was covered in “painful sores” from the soles of his feet to the top his head, (Job 1-2). His best friends, who knew how much he loved God, blamed him and told him his faith wasn’t strong enough. (Man, I hate being told that!!!) He replies, initially, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him,” Job 14:15. Jobs faith was eventually rocked hard enough that he began to doubt but even in his doubts he knew God had to be good. He had faith. And in the end (*spoiler alert*) “The Lord blesses the latter part of Job’s life more than the first.” Job 42:12.
Habakkuk saw wickedness in his nation, cruelty and suffering. He was confused, even crying out in chapter one “I cry out to you, ‘Violence!’ But you do not save.” But he heard the Lord answer Him in a way that many of us would not be satisfied with 1:5; “I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe.” Habakkuk wanted results right then and there but God was telling him to wait! And he did. He waited patiently and held on to the fact that God is good despite what he sees, “Even though the fig trees have no fruit and no grapes grow on the vine, even though the olive crops fail and the fields produce no grain, even though he sheep all die and the cattle stalls are empty, I will still be joyful and glad, because the Lord God is my Savior,” Hab 3:17-18.
If I had no problems and everything worked perfectly for me, of course the glory would go to God, but who would see that glory. How can a person disciple to others if they have no evidence of heart change or spirit change or unexpected growth? But how can a person expect change if they are unwilling to submit to the will of Christ?
We will not be made complete until the day of Christ Jesus, Philippians 1:6. Therefore, we will still have things to struggle through. That does not mean relief isn’t given just that it may not be given when we want it or how we want it.
This truth is easy for non-believers to follow because they don’t believe anyway. But, it’s this truth that blurs the lines between believers and non-believers because; we really aren’t all that different.
So, have I been encapsulated by joy since the year began? No. But that certainly does not mean there haven’t been things to be thankful or overjoyed about in these complex days of weariness and hopelessness.
Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is practically uncontrollable. God can do anything, I don’t doubt that. He has given me this pain so that I will rely more on Him. Some days it’s harder. It’s so hard when all I can see is 3 inches in front of me and the walls seem to be closing in all around. It’s hard when getting out of bed feels like a chore.
But the Lord has not left me, he has not foresaken me. Despite depression and how I respond in my depression; he still loves me. My hurts, your hurts do not stop the Lord for wanting good for you and me. Our hurts allow Satan to weasel his way in and prevent us from looking up to the Lord. Just like Job; Satan does not want us to have joy. But joy is readily available to you and me because of what Christ did on the cross. His promises are evident in my life; I was saved from a storm, steered away from a path that led to calamity. His promises are evident all throughout the Bible (ask me where, I’m happy to share). Most importantly, He does promise an end to pain and suffering the only thing He asks of me is to TRUST HIM!
In spite of what my mind tries to tell me, I am going to find something to be joyous about. Starting #dailyrejoice on Instagram to inspire others that regardless of circumstances and feelings we can rejoice daily. We can find joy in our everyday. We can trust God that joy exists even in the hard times.